My · Mother · was · a · Beauty · Queen · but · I · look · like · my · Dad

 I haven't written in a while because my life has been a terrible jumble of financial disaster, moving and downsizing my store, finding a job and living in a welter of shame and despair.  I have always had the tendency to isolate when down, and being in recovery has made me very aware of that but I still do it....
So any road, the store is moved and open and doing ok, I have found a job (which I actually like) but I am so deep in debt that I don't think I can save my house.  I have accepted it, I have surrendered it, I just hate it. HATE IT. 
Ok so enough of that.
The mystery is this:  I have this really groovy birdbath in my yard, concrete with littlle sparkly glass tiles inlaid all over it and someone has been leaving little bunches of wildflowers in it.  Beautiful little bunches. I don't know if they are for me or offerings to the birdbath so until today I have just been leaving them there.  But today, another fresh bunch was deposited so I gathered them up and brought them inside and put them in a pretty vase so I can enjoy them.  I honestly have no idea who is doing this...and truth be told I kindof like it that way. The possibilities..... 
And they bring a smile to my face which is so very much needed right now...

 Thought this was lovely, especially for those of us with some life experience under our belts.....

LIFE has loveliness to sell,

     All beautiful and splendid things,

Blue waves whitened on a cliff,

     Soaring fire that sways and sings,

And children's faces looking up

Holding wonder like a cup.

 

Life has loveliness to sell,

     Music like a curve of gold,

Scent of pine trees in the rain,

     Eyes that love you, arms that hold,

And for your spirit's still delight,

Holy thoughts that star the night.

 

Spend all you have for loveliness,

     Buy it and never count the cost;

For one white singing hour of peace

     Count many a year of strife well lost,

And for a breath of ecstasy

Give all you have been, or could be.

"Barter"

by Sara Teasdale "Barter"

 (Dedicated by poet to E.)

 God this is so hard to say...and do...the death of a dream.
I have given this place my love, my sweat and blood and now my tears.
I have done ritual, I have prayed to all the Gods, so I know that this closing is a blessing that I just cannot yet see. 
That being said, everything really needs to go to good homes.  My treasure store is full of lovely books and things that I have no place for so any offers will be considered (consignment items excepted), so please, if you can, come help me and buy as much as you can or want.

I appreciate so much all the support and guidance that I have received from so many, you have all been such blessings into my life.

Love and Brightest of Blessings to you all.
Diane

Oh and the store is in Hapeville, 591 N. Central Avenue, 404-209-9111.

Florida Substitute Teacher Fired, Accused of Wizardry

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,354327,00.html Florida Substitute Teacher Fired, Accused of Wizardry I honestly don't even know what to say about this!!! Has Florida really gone absolutely insane?? What do you guys think about this?

 

 

Eating disorder, anorexia, insatiable hunger, emotional eating, starving myself, eating only brown rice and vegetables...ad infinitum.  I have done them all, and never in my life have I felt comfortable in my own body. So, intellectually I know that the problem is not with my body but within my mind, my psyche if you will.  I know that I feel no different about my body now that I have some extra pounds than I did when I wore a size 6.  I have kept myself from relationships, I have not gone out with friends, I have hidden myself away from the world for too fucking long because of it and I say now, NO MORE. 

I really want to heal this.  I have started doing yoga again with a really great teacher and I can already tell a difference just in my awareness of my body.  The first class I could barely get through it, I couldn't hold any poses, I felt weak and uncoordinated.  By the third class, last night, I felt stronger and could hang out in the poses much longer.  I have started paying more attention to what I eat, why I am eating it and what the food is doing for me.  No, I have not been perfect, I have a major sweet tooth, but better, I have been better about choosing life-giving food rather than just quick or filling or cheap.

I don't want to keep myself out of life, out of love, out of social activities any more; I want to live, to love and enjoy my wonderful life. 

For the first time I think I actually can.

I read a news report this morning about an "Untouchable" woman in India who went to Hospital with complications from pregnancy.  The doctors at the hospital refused to treat her and stood there while she and her baby boy died on the sidewalk outside the Hospital.
W h a t  T h e  F u c k???  I wonder what the Karma for that is??  Moreover, I am pretty damn sure that it is much, much worse than whatever they would have gotten by helping an "Untouchable".   Then I think back a few months and remember this was the place that was going to arrest Richard Gere for a kiss!  Huh?  
I always think of India as being so spiritually enlightened....

 

10/10/07 8:12AM

Definitions of friendship

The Webster's definition of Friend is:  "One who is attached to another by affection or who entertains for another sentiments of esteem and respect, which lead him to desire his company and to seek to promote his happiness and prosperity."  I love that!  I truly treasure my friends, without them my life would be dreadfully colorless and flat.  My friends spark me to grow, to think of things in new and different ways and most importantly, they call me on my shit.  So for me, I have to add another dimension to the definition of friend, a person who I am accountable to and who is accountable to me.  I don't make friends very easily, it takes time, conversation and just hanging out to find out if a relationship is going to develop.  Sometimes yes, most times no.    When someone develops into a friend, they reside inside my heart and are with me always regardless of how long apart.  Quite simply, I love them.  I see so many people who don't really get that, they call casual acquaintance 'friendship' and have no idea what a friend really is.  It saddens me and makes me see how deeply blessed my life truly is to have the friends I have.  I love you guys, and you know who you are.

 

11/14/07 7:29AM

Courage

The definition of courage is:  That quality of mind which enables men (or women I would think!) to encounter danger and difficulties with firmness, or without fear or depression of spirits; bravery.  So the question is - what value does the quality of courage have for us today?  Of course, we see it evidenced in the event of catastrophe - someone pulls a person out of a burning vehicle and saves their life.  Extraordinary courage indeed, but is there any, say average courage that would be evidenced in everyday life by ordinary people?  Is it courageous when an alcholic puts down the bottle and walks through the door of a treatment center?  Is it courage that allows a shy young man to ask that girl to dance at the High School sock hop?  Does it take courage to speak your mind and heart to someone who is an abusive bully?  How about asking the boss for a raise or better hours or working conditions?  I think it does, although I am not sure that any of these would call their actions courageous.  Quiet courage in the face of opposition is evidenced every day by millions of us ordinary people...and that gives me hope.